There is only one way to arrive at a world cup...and that is by boat sailing down the majestic Amazon river for 4 days sleeping in hammocks and resting on the sun deck whilst sampling the Brazilian culinary delights. Well that would be true if this was not the booze cruise lad version that's not been seen since the late 90's at Playa De Las Americas in Tenerife! Nor was it Brazilian nouvelle cuisine as breakfast was sweet coffee and bread rolls and every lunch and dinner was rice + spaghetti + chicken/beef (delete appropriately)...luckily all washed down with the finest Brazilian beer and rum which helped. In fact it was washed down so much we drank and smoked the boat dry on day 3!! Never seen so many clucking people having to go cold turkey for one day!! I should also point out we bought booze beforehand, the boat had a bar, and both us and the boat stopped to grab booze on day 2. Don't get me wrong the experience was class but not what the guide book had described. The boat was say 30% English/Irish, 30% Colombian, 20% Brazilian and 20% Other but all of which created a great melting pot of football fans and people up for a good time! In true British style when it comes to drinking we were all on the beers pre-boarding and thus first to go dry on day 3 so by night 3 when the more reserved Colombian's still had booze the sun/party/music/bar deck turned into a Salsa show which was fantastic to watch ... do they have some moves!

Despite all the partying we saw some amazing sunsets and scenery with the occasional river dolphin diving through our wake. More importantly we met some cool people who made the stay in Manaus more enjoyable.

I would love to do it again but with more locals on board to get the real experience...although having had to sleep in a hammock for 3 nights which wasn't uncomfortable I was glad to be on dry land and on a flat bed that doesn't swing.

With low expectations re: Manaus thanks to Roy Hodgson's comments earlier in the year, the city of 2 million Brazilians has made a good impression on me. Yes it's remote but thanks to its thriving history in late 1800's due to rubber (before Malaysia took over) the city has a lot of character ... not least the fact it is in the middle of the Amazon! 4hrs flight from Rio, the only road is North to Venezuela/Guyana or sailing East/West so you can tell its remote ... that has certainly not stopped the abundance of footy fans from around the world not least England and USA.

Having been in Manaus on/off for 2 weeks after a while a break from the footy is required so I have explored the city and surrounding Amazon. Also the beauty of the world cup means Manaus has been show casing its sights and sounds for the tourists. Been to some architecturally interesting buildings of which Teatro Amazonias is most impressive! A jewel in the jungle! The market was cool and a melting pot of locals buying/selling which is a spectacle to enjoy and observe. But as expected the Manaus climate is hot...damn hot...hot and wet (That's nice if you're with a lady, but it ain't no good if you're in the jungle - quote from Good Morning Vietnam). When it rains the cats, dogs, piranhas and monkeys all fall from the sky ... luckily only for a short period but it soaks you right through ... like fine rain! (Peter Kay) Oh and don't forget the Mosquitoes to add into to the mix!

Now lets get down to the proper business of the World Cup and footy ... the real reason I and thousands of others are here in Manaus. I got tickets to England vs Italy and USA vs Portugal ... arguably the best tickets in town!

Like any host city they also have fan fests and big screens up in town therefore never far from football on a big screen and never far from a bar stocked full with cold Brahma beers! En mass the Brits arrived followed by the yanks and the town didn't know what hit them...the town square and surrounding bars all ran out of booze the first night we got off the boat. The police closed off the streets as too many people were on them drinking and cheering. The police closed the bars as the fans were having too much fun and thought it might get rowdy. Now in week 3 loads more police, loads more beer and food sellers...I just feel they are a little late as this week is the last game for Manaus and it's moment of glory will be over...the games will be watched just by the locals as the fans move towards Rio. Don't think the locals realised how many would decent on the jungle and how much we would drink!!

First game was the opening match for Brazil which we went to the fan park for...30 mins out of town on the beach...yup the Amazon has a beach! The fan park was a sea of yellow as the locals came out in force for the first game. Pre game music showed me how much the Brazilians like to dance and how quick they are at learning the routines...within a few steps they were copying the Amazonian style dancers on stage. But the main event was the footy which didn't disappoint. We had one Croatian fan in a top who became a local celebrity among the 20,000 Brazil shirts...turned out he was from Galway, Ireland! Afterwards the roundabout was turned into an impromptu rave that we all partied away at until the traffic died down. All other games we spent in town around the square at the erected screen with the backdrop of the city and beer vendors never too far away! Still has a cracking atmosphere for every game including Nigeria vs Iran!

Next up the England game and for me the highlight. The build up and hype was created by the sea of white/red on every street descending on the ground. Few true Italians could be heard until in the stadium when the local Brazilians cheered their every move and booed England...a little harsh I felt...again maybe anti Roy Hodgson abuse from his previous comments. The atmosphere was good although without the England band felt it could of been stronger. Would of loved to have seen a win or draw but wasn't to be. Due to few true Italians and being the WC there was no trouble afterwards just lots of songs taking us from bar to bar! Had great seats thanks to my partner in crime Tiffany. She is on crutches so can obtain wheelchair tickets...as her "companion" I go for free...a right proper touch! We beat all the queues and have seats at the perfect height on edge of the penalty area. Due to FIFA being PC there are also fat boy seats...double seats with padding...we managed to swap our 2 seats (one is really just a space for a wheelchair) for one of these fat boy seats!!

Now as an England fan travelling I was not wearing an England shirt...I have 3 at home but not a fan of wearing them outside matches...touched on nationalism in a previous blog. I'm proudly English but don't always like the image the England shirt brings with it and this was summed up at half time. Got chatting to an old lad from up North and we were chatting about the first half...then he says "I am not racist but" (which immediately makes me think you are) "it's great having black players up front who are a lot quicker than the white guys in midfield". Gave him a polite nod and ended the conversation. I proudly say I am a English when asked just don't always have the outfits to prove it. Anyway the lads played good and just such a shame they are not getting past the group stages.

The final game for me at Manaus was USA vs Portugal. For me a chance to see Cristiano Ronaldo disappoint again and experience the full force of TEAM USA. Now as we all know soccer (as they call it) is not their first sport so decided to note down all the Americanism's that they allow to creep into conversation:

- possess 

- elite

- offence

- if you warm this guy up you cant stop him

- tie

And my favourite

- shake and bake the defender

The USA fans know how to support and cheer and dress up with the usual American Eagle, Statue of Liberty and item of choice a bandana! One guy in cowboy boots from the typical Texan! Yet my favourite chant was "no one likes us...we don't care. No one likes us...we don't care". Now USA played poorly against Ghana and won so was kind of hoping they would lose/draw with Portugal to open the group and give Ghana a chance. Game ended with a last minute goal for the draw which is dessert best served cold!! One US fan was already running the victory lap and missed the last minute goal!!

It would be rude not to spend time in the Amazon so I ventured away from the big screens for 4 days to hear, see and sleep in the Amazon jungle. Due to choosing a budget backpacker operator they had massively over subscribed their trips ... we had 15 whereas the following day some trips had 40! Not only did they over subscribe they also weren't organised nor had enough accommodation ... it didn't dampen our spirits despite getting caught in a few torrential downpours!

I had 3 nights - 1 in their lodge, 1 in a local house in hammocks and another in the actual jungle. The jungle night was the best as our guide Antonio aka MacGyver made a shelter for 11 of us in the jungle! He saw a clearing, chopped down trees and within an hour had dinner on the go. It was great to sleep in the hammock with the stars above, I was an unlucky one should it rain as I had no cover but luckily no cats and dogs this time! Was alarmed to see red blood on my mosquito net in the morning but realised it was the tree bleeding from the decapitation the night before.

We saw loads of stuff during our adventures: Caimans (like alligators), boa snakes, monkeys, sloths, a baby monkey abandoned by its mother, pink river dolphins plus numerous birds. Was meant to see piranha as we went fishing but had no luck yet the market proved the best place to catch them.

Not sure whether a highlight but most of starred in "I'm a backpacker get me out of here"...after opening up a seedling Antonio knocked out a white worm/grub that was wriggling in our hands. Saying it tasted like coconut milk we all bite down which caused the grub to explode in our mouth!! The taste was palatable but the sensation of squeezing something to its death will need some more practice. We won a star which was rice and spaghetti for dinner...there is a theme to the culinary delights of Brazil here!

The Amazon is vast and amazing to be within but didn't feel as though got to the heart of huge Amazon. The people all wear normal clothes, have mobile phones and satellite TV for the footy. No spears or bow/arrows or saucers as front lips. For that experience need to go deeper into the jungle...maybe next time! It was great to see the river as it's highest and meeting of the waters an interesting natural phenomenon. The Rio Negra (dark brown) and Amazon (light brown) don't mix for 6km due to different temperatures and speeds. Like all the things I have seen can always come back and see different things and have an equally amazing time.

Was stuck in the border of Ecuador with Colombia for 2 days. When we got there we waited on the bridge in no-mans land and with the flood gates opening saw Ecuadorians and Colombians running to immigration...never seen anything like it! Luckily for us due to my friend with crutches we sauntered up past the queue to the front desk and in Colombia we were...another country TICK!

We were heading to San Agustin via numerous buses and stop-overs but first stop was a remote church called Las Lajes Sanctuary in a valley which was built as someone saw JC in the rock...its a place of pilgrimage hence the plagues on the wall. Nice place to relax for a few mins before the schlep to San Agustin.

The bus journeys through the jungle were exhilarating when they should be relaxing! Our car was a 7 seater people carrier but our driver was like Colin McRae treating it like a rally car with a jungle and sheer drop one side...oh and in torrential rain! Got to the stage where we had 3 streams and waterfalls over flowing on the road...this made our driver stop, turn down the tunes and assess the road...after a little deliberation we went for it and after a little sliding on the rocks made it through and powered to our hostel!

Stayed in a real chilled hostel near coffee plantations on a hill that had decent food. The place is famous for pre-Colombian ruins and statues but after 2 days was time to chill and relax at the hostel spending hours in the hammock recharging the batteries!

After San Agustin was a night in Popoyan for some old architecture and then onto Cali the home of Salsa! Cali was lively and did venture to a salsa club to bust some moves...after a cheeky dance with a local and failing miserably we moved to a dance music venue...more my style! Dancing with locals was my key target as conversation is limited...dancing with this local who brought her mum out with her!! Thought was a bit forward to meet the in-laws!! 

The other nice thing about Cali is that being a city there is culture to enjoy. The modern art gallery was cool and nice to be in comfortable surroundings...more me as just like home!

After Cali was a fly-by visit to Bogota - a quick 24 hours. After an awful night bus needed 3 coffees to start the day but was well worth it. The city has a cool old town vibe where the art gallery's are based in neat buildings with colonial architecture. Saw a cool exhibition from William Kentbridge from South Africa and the local artist Fernando Botero (who makes people big in his art work and sculptures).

The afternoon was a cycling tour seeing all the top city sites, markets and street murals. 4 hours of cycling at altitude meant an early night. Hope to come back but so much to see!!

Leticia is in the Amazon region of Colombia and only accessible by plane and my final place of this Colombia leg! Currently staying in Colombia with a Brazil entry stamp thus an illegal immigrant!! Next journey is 4 days sailing down the Amazon in a hammock to Manaus and the World Cup!!

So back to Quito for 2nd and final time...could easily do the city in a day so any future travellers should head to the outlying towns for a better Ecuadorian experience. Have also joined up with my buddy Tiffany I first met 3 months ago in Argentina whom we are heading to the World Cup together.

Like all backpackers I went the Equator...the middle of the middle. Back growing up I remember this Simpsons episode where Bart didn't believe the toilets flushed differently in the Southern Hemisphere than Springfield...he called a kid in the outback and as Bart still didn't believe him the kid had to go cycle to his neighbours farm to confirm...3 days later the kid returned with an astronomical phone bill for Bart (Homer!). Well he could of saved time and called Ecuador as either side of the middle of the middle are toilets to test the theory and you will be pleased to know no photos...only joking but there are sinks to prove the theory of clockwise in Southern and anti-clockwise in Northern hemisphere. There are also loads of other fun tests (like being at Science Museum in London) but the interesting part is that the locals knew this thousands of years ago using sun/stars etc.

As I said Quito doesn't offer too much so after this headed to Mindo for some chocolate tasting and tubing. Not that I am becoming a twitcher but this town in the cloud forest has 22% of Ecuador bird species so it was cool seeing these hummingbirds eating as I was tucking into my eggs!

Final Ecuador stop was Otavalo for the largest market in South America. You want it you can get it. Started off at the animal market where in bags that wobble you hear screeching of animals wanting to escape. Cats, dogs, chickens, Cuy (guinea pig), sheep, goats, pigs (who don't half squeal when being taken home), cows, horses and llamas. Unfortunately my rucksack is full otherwise a cheeky llama for Balham Park Road would have been fun!! Then in the town you can buy anything as well as the usual Gringo traveller crap.

Now i wanted to write this blog from Colombia where I am heading but the border is closed (thanks to elections) so writing from the border frontier town in Ecuador and hope to be leaving today. 

Like all developing countries...we arrived at the bus station and the taxi driver took us to the frontier knowing it was closed - $3.50. Then he offered another way into Colombia with a smirk on his face at more expense. Then we had to jump back into a taxi back to town for a hostel resembling Fawlty Towers - $3.50. Grrr I hate being conned. You can't help think that back home if something is closed the honest taxi driver wouldn't take you there! 

So I am flying home from the Galapagos and looking out across the amazing archipelago from my window seat with a big smile on my face. Been here for 9ish days and although not cheap has been worthwhile.

So Galapagos...everyone says the best part of their South America trip. Do I agree...sort of...I am lucky enough just on this year abroad to have snorkelled with whale sharks; seen 200 elephants at the Chobe river and watched a leopard with his kill up a tree...so this is up there. The iguanas and tortoises are superb but what really stands out for me is the close proximity you can get without scarring the animals...the fact they don't see humans as a threat...the animals live in relative harmony with each other. So come here and you will love it but make sure you also go on safari and snorkel in the reefs because equally as good.

There are many islands here but only 4 are inhabited. Without boring you with the details I was on Santa Cruz, Isabella, San Cristobal, Espanola and Floreana. They all have amazing beaches with amazing animals and sealife. I saw tortoises, land iguanas, sea lions and numerous birds while ashore. In the water saw loads of sea lions, sea turtles,marine iguanas, penguins, sharks, rays and numerous tropical fish.

Will let the photos do the talking but for me the real highlight is close proximity you can get to these animals. They are not scarred of humans and don't see them as a threat. The Islands are perfect ecosystems with few predators...the big wow for me was snorkelling with sea turtles and sea lions without a care in the world. The sea lions particularly playful if you dive down and wiggle about a bit...they think it is play time...thus coming to within inches of your face!!

I slummed it for the first 5 days before the last 4 aboard a luxurious catamaran called Anahi...although a backpacker I need comfort and style once in a while...poshpacking or glamping!

During my teens I was lucky enough to sail (really just motor) the Channel with one Channel crossing from Alderney to Hayling Island with the Van Dort's particularly etched into my memory...despite this practice the sometimes rough crossings to the islands didn't help me feel a little queasy...although it's when the boat stops that gives my stomach an extra unwanted churn. Even now on dry land I still sway a little even without any Pisco Sours!

I met some round the world yachties who amazed me of their journeys from Europe and now heading to French Polynesia!! Despite me thinking I have sea legs my round the world yacht trip is being put on hold until I can stomach living days at sea.

After roughing it and doing day trips I splashed out on a 4 day boat trip to the islands the day trips are not allowed to reach hence the big draw. I managed to get the deal for half price as booked few days before and was well worth it given the quality of the guides and the amount of food I have consumed (the plane is tilting to the right slightly!). Now boarding a boat with 15 others means you are living, eating and socialising together for 4 days so don't piss anyone off!! A few of us got discount at the last minute...rule number one therefore is keep it quiet...people don't like to hear they are paying double...what do others say day 1!!

As a keen social observer/people watcher it was great to see the different dynamics develop on board...

- being Galapagos you get some serous animal nuts. One chap on board had RSPB binoculars...not sure if that means Fisher Price Dummy guide to being a twitcher or some serious bird spotter. Luckily he left the jotter behind and turned out to be not even close to Bill Oddy.

- then we had 3 young girls from Israel who wished it was more of a party boat than full of serious animal enthusiasts...the days started at 7am and bed was usually 8.30pm with night sails...they also decided to miss a lot of the excursions so weren't popular on board. The boat had a hot tub which they wanted to use...again in a national park not Cancun!!

- then you had a guy who was filming everything with running commentary...his wife using numerous technical cameras. They also loved correcting each other and me on occasion!! Essentially non-cool geeks.

- a hard core cruiser who had a wonderful character who turned mother to me to ensure all was safe. She rubbed the Israeli girls the wrong way who smoked a lot so she worried the boat would burn down!!

- finally my room mate who was sharing with her friend/colleague but after 2 weeks of snoring needed a new roomie...I was a gentleman...forgot to knock, read until the late hours of 9.30pm and of course made a mess.

Who knows what they said about me but like to think that I have manners and have been brought up proper and in a boat situation you try not to cause friction!!

I am in a new country...Ecuador...the problem is every time I think "oh I am in Ecuador" I break out into a mini rave thanks to the 90's tune by Sash!

Before arriving I was losing my travel Mojo...think due to the many 18+ hours bus rides I did to get here...but my Mojo is now back thanks to meeting some cool people on a bus to Banos and only have max 4hr bus rides to endure thanks to the small size of Ecuador.

First stop was Riobamba which is not worth the stop. I was here for the train ride except I got the wrong town for the AMAZING engineering feat of Ecuador so went by train into the mountains but nothing WOW about it. The train to a little village with a misty view of the tallest mountain in Ecuador was essentially something BA Baracas and the A-Team put together...They went into a shed with a truck and a train...put on a battering ram and roof top for sniping and finished with my train! Call me spoilt but having been on trains in Argentina and Peru this was definitely in 3rd place. The A-Team turned into Mad Max as we had these 5 motorcyclists clad in leather with masks following us to block the roads.

Following unsuccessful Riobamba went to successful Banos...essentially a hot spring town with activities galore. It is next to a very active Ecuador volcano...went on a party bus to see this volcano...well the mist meant we couldn't even see 20ft so can't vouch for the volcanic activity!

As I said previously in Peru went for a training run and my legs were still hurting so I decided to go for a massage the hostel was offering...$20 for 1 hour so I was game. First thing with a massage is don't fart so need to keep the cheeks under control. Second thing is keep a memory of Margaret Thatcher in the mind in case things get embarrassing. My face was head down and was nice and relaxing until I heard the sound of rubber gloves...bit kinky and I don't even know Spanish for "extras"...first thought was what are "safe words" in Spanish to get me out of this mess!! Luckily nothing untoward happened and think they were used due to the fingers having bobbling for exfoliation. By coincidence "Chariots of Fire" came on the radio as she was working my legs. To make things worse she then used gloves to finish me off (not like that!!) rather than her hands like I had some sort of skin rash. Despite all this felt relaxed and rejuvenated with my legs ready for the next beating...cycling the next day in the rain through the canyon.

Luckily the cycling was easy and downhill that passed many waterfalls which was great to get up close and personal to but call me a snob but when you get under the Iguazu Falls nothing compares!!

Next stop Latagunga for some glaciers and volcanoes...as you can tell I am in a rush due to a flight tomorrow to the Galapagos! Did an acclimatisation trek to the Quilotoa lake at c.4000m which was a stunning blue/green/azure colour despite the intermittent rain. The following day I was going to summit Cotopaxi which at 5900m is higher than Kilimanjaro...although you drive to 4500m so kind of cheating. Due to the poor success rate and poor weather (ie no visibility) I just went to 5000m to see the start of the glacier. This volcano erupted in 1905 and erupts every 100 years so watch out if you visit soon!!

Now I like ticking boxes and getting to 5000m is an interesting box that I have now ticked...I have been higher than Mount Everest!! Due to the curvature of the Earth the glacier on Cotopaxi is further from centre of Earth than Everest...surely the true measure of any mountain and summit!! Now I am no Stephen Hawkings (no comments!) but if Everest is 8900m above sea level and I was at 5000m yet further from the Earth core...does this mean all the water moves from the Ecuador to the poles??? Surely gravity has a part to play??? One for the boffins to explain! (By the way if my logic is rubbish and I am going loco then blame not working for 7 months!!)

Next up in Graham Physics lesson...which way does the water flush when using the toilet at the Equator??? (Don't worry won't show photo evidence!)

Final stop of this Ecuador section was Quito. The amazing thing is that you use the PanAmerican Highway to get here...if I went South would end up in Ushuaia, Argentina and North would be Alaska, USA...bizarre!!

Another city...another stat...second highest capital in the world with the 2nd longest cable car to the nearby volcano! Was also the first UNESCO city! Love a factoid!!

Despite its sometimes dangerous reputation it isn't a bad city although weather hasn't been kind. The only thing dangerous about it so far was me climbing the metal staircase to the Basilica tower in a lightning shower in flip-flops!! The old town is nice with old cobbled streets and balconied houses/mansions.

After toasting mum a safe journey home with a Pisco Sour it was back to travelling with a bump as my overnight bus to the mountains had a screaming baby one row in front!

Huaraz is a standard town at the foot of Peru's largest section of Andes. As it was Easter weekend had a nice procession on the Sunday but the main pull is trekking to the various glaciers and lakes which didn't disappoint as you can see from the photos.

Highlight for me was the Canon Del Pato or Duck Canyon. Decided to venture by bike alone from Caraz along a very scenic downhill (thankfully) mainly tarred road. As in a valley you can't get lost! In true Brit style I donned my hat, slopped on my sun cream and headed out into the midday sun with not enough water!! A gentle meander for 39km ended with the last 12km in the Canon Del Pato. Armed with my crappy head torch I cycled through the 35 tunnels getting covered in mud and with each tunnel running the gauntlet with potential on-coming traffic. By the end having gone through dust, mud and tar I felt like a cartoon villain covered in all sorts of materials.

My reward was a quiet village by the river which due to traffic restrictions for the return journey was my home for 4 hours...so I plonked myself in the only restaurant to kill time. The restaurant had no menu so my option was only meat; it was served by "the only gay in the village" Little Britain character; had Peruvian Strictly Come Dancing starring 12 Anne Widdecomb's to keep me entertained...the only saving grace was the owner like football so enjoyed Chelsea 0-0 draw in Champ League!! As you can tell the 4 hours passed pretty quickly just observing Peruvian life.

I decided to make one final stop on my Inca / Peruvian culture tour at Chachapoyas back in the jungle (ish). After a while archaeological sites get samey just like in Thailand and India with temples. Still good but sometimes need a change of scenery.

Chachapoyas is a neat little town with these old houses and balconies similar to Cuzco. After a bus travel fail over 24 hrs to get there i checked into a single room for $9...bargain! Just what i needed as was tired and smelly!

The pull factor here is Kuelap a sort of Machu Picchu but built 900yrs before. Hence although set upon the hill and a defensive fortress it lacked that WOW factor of Machu. It didn't help that it was raining...but still impressive given when it was built.

The other reason people visit is for the statues/tombs/sarcophagus of the Chachapoyas people placed upon shear limestone cliffs around 1200AD...they would destroy the paths once placed to avoid thieving. Unfortunately as limestone meant erosion over the years and so loads of fallen and broken...even a few bones lying around the place!!

Prior to this stop were some caves where we donned some wellies as turned out to be very sticky mud...a few came face to face with it! Again the caves used to be a cemetery but also a cavern of stalag "might touch the ceiling" and stalactites. 




Prior to going into the caves i had an "old people" moment which at 3* yrs is bad news but now see what my mum's friends must go through on a daily basis! We were waiting to pay entry and one of the group picked up a broomstick...

In my head i was oh "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" or a witch from "Wizard of Oz"...

Group member said oh its a "something 2000" (something = he said something but didn't register)

I was like "uh"

He said "you know quiditch"

I was like "uh"

He said "Harry Potter"

I was like "ohhh" after which i found the nearest seat, put some comfortable velcro shoes on, lit my pipe and read the back section of the Daily Mail deciding which pair of elasticated trousers to buy next!

After another long bus journey (3 buses in total) i am finally at Mancora beach for some rest and relaxation. Was last at the beach at Xmas and need to have some time to recharge the batteries...assume I have no sympathy!! Staying at the party hostel in town which reminded me why beaches are a good place...lots of scantily clad young ladies everywhere meant I had to jump into the pool like Kevin and Perry!!

Quick annoyances from the bus journey. Reading "Captain Philips" about the Somali pirates and as I jumped on the bus guess what film starts...and for the first time not dubbed and in English!!...alas despite my speed reading I finished the book as the film closing credits came up. Secondly when people jump onto buses (and planes) why can they not find their seat?? This guy was looking for seat 56487..his luggage ticket number!

Anyway the beach is nice and the water warm and after a lame attempt at surfing decided to go body boarding which I also failed at...I realise that I am not a water baby. What I did realise I am good at is beer pong! My team made the final but couldn't make the final cup which meant drinking copious amounts of beer and a blood bomb (don't know nor want to know what's in it!). The same night I got a complement of looking 25 yrs old although my smile was removed when someone else said "you're not an accountant are you?" What?? Do I have a badge on? Is it really that obvious? You would have thought being away for 7 months I would have lost it!

As I said in my blog title I am off to Ecuador tonight but thanks to my stupidity I have also signed up for the Lima marathon on 18 May. Need to somehow get race fit in just over 2 weeks...so ventured out for an 1.5hr run which apart from getting chased by dogs was a relatively successful run. Issue being not many training opportunities over coming weeks so won't be getting a PB but will have ticked off a marathon in South America...will be 4 continents down!! In my 40th year plan to run the Antarctic marathon...tick off my 7th continent and RETIRE!!

Palmertours is a multi-cultural non discriminatory charitable organisation and that is why I have opened the door for the first time for those with bingo wings, cankles and suspected hairy upper lips...yup Palmertours also caters for the older generation...and I mean old!! Now obviously my mother who joined me this week for 3 weeks doesn't meet any of these criteria but I was willing to make an exception.

So looking like a New Yorker (smart dress with sneakers) mum and I ventured from neighbourhood to neighbourhood seeking out all the major sites Buenos Aires has to offer. From La Boca in the South with its colourful housing to Tigre in the North with its boat houses and waterways. Fantastic effort as ever from my mum who didn't complain...much...and just needed the occasional coffee as a pick me up. As this was my 3rd visit to the city I was able to navigate with ease but this time actually go into the museums and galleries rather than just a fleeting visit. The city has enough to see for 4 days but no more and luckily our timing coincided with the Madres protest on Thursday who are still looking for their children taken under the dictatorship regime. What was also nice to explore were the numerous antique shops with old Louis Vuitton trunks, Harley bikes and pinball machines...could see myself opening up a shop in Notting Hill next to Hugh Grant book shop!

For me the plus side came in staying in a hotel...free towels...TV in the room...sharing with a non-snorer (most of the time)...and more importantly unlimited breakfast every morning. Like a true backpacker this is red rag to a bull so made sure our breakfast sitting was 30+mins to last the day!

Our aim most nights was to find a decent hotel bar for a drink before a nice slap meal...well steak and red wine essentially as that is what the Argentinian's do so well. Drinking in a Philippe Starck designed hotel was a good start and followed this by a top steak house Las Lilas...only issue we didn't have enough cash with us as credit cards are pointless as costs 30%-40% more...luckily no washing up or a quick sprint was involved but dessert consisted of a McFlurry rather than something covered in Dulce De Leche.

Back home I enjoy a bit of culture now and then whether theatre or art and thus made sure this was ticked off during these four days as not done much over the past 6 months. Visited a Mario Testino exhibition; watched a tango show in the famous Cafe Tortoni and the highlight the opera Caligula at the majestic Teatro Colon. Worth mentioning the opera...wonderful setting...but the opera was in German with Spanish subtitles (Just like watching Apocalypto in Peru eh Dave) so didn't understand a word...plus being an ENO production the show had a modern twist with a lot of nudity!! something the BA crowd didn't enjoy as many seats emptied at half time.

We headed north by plane...another advantage of Palmertours does SAGA...Iguazu Falls voted one of the natural 7 wonders of the world (along with Table Mountain) and it certainly didn't disappoint. Wow what a amazing magical place. On this trip have been to the Victoria Falls albeit in dry season but these falls blew me away. To go to the Devils Throat you need to walk a 1km over the river and the excitement builds as you get closer...you feel the spray...you hear the crashing water...then when you arrive and see it in full flow it is magical. The place also has an Avatar feel due to the moss and plant life around the falls.

We continued around the falls as there are around 250 to see and by the late afternoon it was time to do the Great Adventure tour...15 min boat ride in and out of the falls. Some wore swimming costumes and goggles - extreme...we were more casual which we later regretted as you don't get wet you get DRENCHED! Ponchos and waterproofs don't even work...the boat drives into the falls so all around you is water. Apart from having a girl scream in my ear the whole time it was awesome and a great thrill and after wiping the mascara off we both looked semi presentable coming off the boat although the squelch with every step gave the game away as to where we had been. Our reward was a drink at the on-site hotel overlooking the falls although had to act like we owned the place as we continued to squelch through the lobby to the bar!

The next day we planned to go to Brazil to see the falls or the animal sanctuary but as on holiday we sat by the pool and just chilled. Given mum was asleep until lunchtime sometimes you forget that guests are here on holiday and with an intense 10 days to come in Peru and the Inca Trail recharging the batteries was just what the doctor ordered.

With my friends Ellen and Nikita allowing me to jump on their coat tails and feeling hungover we all ventured to Copacabana and Lake Titicaca (Borders Peru and Bolivia) ... which is the highest lake in the world at 3800m. You begin to realise everything is high around here and not to be forgotten even when walking up stairs!

We checked into our hotel accommodation ... yes a hotel ... it had been a few weeks for me and months for Ellen and Nikita. For $22 we splashed out! Las Olas is essentially an Alice in Wonderland themed place ... we turned down the snail house for the castle ... A 3 story building with a turret on the top overlooking the lake. I got the lower Little Merman shell bed (thanks Phil for the pun!) ... A ginormous suite and the only thing missing was the mirrored ceiling! The hotel also had a guitar for Nikita to serenade us each night with some Ed Sheeran and a hot tub with llama's to enjoy (not in the hot tub - that would be wrong as they can't swim). We had hot water bottles given to us every night and apart from leaving the toilet seat up occasionally I was a perfect room buddy! This was what we all needed after partying very hard in La Paz. It meant we had take aways for the first 2 nights and egg sandwiches for breakkie...a back packer treat! Although did venture out for one night of trout ... the only fish living in the lake.

Copacabana (Brazil's poorer cousin) has numerous islands and villages ... the highlight of which is Isla Del Sol (Island of Sun). A very slow boat ride for 2.5hrs ... swimming was faster! But well worth it, the highlight being the pre-Inca ruins where rituals on virgins were performed due to them believing it was where the sun was born. We also took a taxi tour of the mainland with Miguel to the local villages to get some stunning views of the the lake, Isla Del Sol and Isla Del Luna. The highlight was walking through a mock-English village with cobbled streets called Sampaya. The only thing missing were the scones and jam.

My journey at the moment is a little zig-zag in terms of efficiency of routes and bus rides. I headed to Peru for 5 days to Arequipa and Colca Canyon which meant another country but also another stamp in my passport. I should hopefully make it back to London with a spare page otherwise Mr Consulate will be getting a visit - or I am not coming back!

The reason for coming to Peru briefly was that it is not on my trip next month with my mum so as it was only a 6hr bus ride from Copacabana and I heard it was worth visiting...FOMO (Fear of missing out)!

My first bus ride in Peru was special compared to the others, I would like to say that having the toilet locked all the time was new - but no. It was the awful stench from the bus and passengers (mainly coming from the guy next to me and I washed in the morning!) Also during the journey every hour someone comes on to sell you food but gets off 5km later into the wilderness I assume they get a lift back to where they started. To finish the journey off a guy with speakers comes on for 30 mins - I initially thought he was preaching but it turns out he was selling nasal spray! Bizarre...but anyway I bought nothing and learned that I need to ensure a bus has a toilet and good facilities...aka "cama" But this is obviously different in every country you go ... the joys and fun of being on the road!!

Arequipa is Peru 2nd largest city and is surrounded by volcanic mountains and is due a big eruption within a year! Good timing on my behalf! It is a lovely old city with plaza's, cathedral and convents for a bit of history. I had some good meals and nights out... I tried llama and alpaca ... tastes just like chicken! The issue being not many gringos (tourists) were out in the town and the enticement of free drink was enough to keep me out ... despite compliments of "dancing well for a Brit" from a Dutch friend ... the nightclub with 2 people in it (1 attached, the other a lesbian) is not ideal stomping ground so like all Brits on tour I resorted to drinking games to continue the night. Which meant I felt terrible the following day, I'm getting too old for this.

The great thing about travel is stumbling across random things ... I went from Starbucks to eating cheese ice-cream to a convent to a body building championship to a chicken shop to a supermarket selling tuna called "Fanny" all within 2 hours!


Arequipa is famous for having the Colca Canyon and Condors to view within driving distance if you call 4 hours nearby. It was worth seeing although the 2.30am start was not very welcome ... the Condors are big but we were not close enough to do the trip justice. Colca Canyon is twice as deep as the Grand Canyon and I also threw myself onto a horse for an afternoon...our guide ran this dodgy stables with 15 dogs that also needed a comb. The horses were smaller than UK horses which provided a bit more comfort as my horse 'Nacho' was prone to rearing! The best bit was our trekking guide ... a short plump sleaze who decided to woo the 2 girls at the half way point with Salsa dancing lessons that providing me with much entertainment ... the offer of one-on-one lessons after hours provided us with numerous giggles as we recounted the stories back at the hostel. Needless to say it was very cool to canter along the river with mountain scenery but won't be recommending a visit to the stables unless you're accompanied by someone else!

Zig-zag time continued so I took an overnight bus from Peru to La Paz ... one night in La Paz for a long awaited Ruby Murray and quad biking before another night bus to Argentina and a flight to meet Mrs P in Buenos Aires on 31st March ... oh, did I mention a harvest wine festival in Salta that I have to attend? Life is once again tough being on the road.

The past week i have been in 2 Bolivian cities...certainly a tale of 2 cites...

Started in Sucre which is the capital albeit baby cousin to La Paz. It is where the declaration of independence was signed many years ago. It is a great university town with a nice cafe culture.

Essentially this is where i put the brakes on and took a holiday within a holiday. Did admin of photos, planning, researching and sleeping!! What was needed after the salt flats and noisy dorms. Even managed to hit the cinema and arcades for some retro fun with Double Dragon and Bomberman! Markets always provide a good insight into local eating habits and exotic fruit/veg but also some decent cheap eats!! Thanks to the fertile land the fresh fruit juices are a big draw to any market visitor.

La Paz on the other hand is the louder, bigger and brasher big brother. After an overnight bus where they decided to lock the loo you arrive at the top of La Paz at 4000m (Altiplan) and decent into the city to c.3500m (highest airport and city in the world!). Great views sweeping into the valley. But as you can tell this kind of altitude means you need to take things "Pole Pole" Swahili for slow slow i learned on Kili.

La Paz has a reputation for being a party town so i checked into an Irish party hostel to see what the craic was all about!! Oz guy in my room was going to bed as i arrived and proceeded to sleep all day!! The hostel was full of school leavers called "India" and "Henry" on their Garp Yars with silly haircuts all seeking cheap booze and cocaine (illegal but available...even bars where for sale over the counter)...first time on the trip that felt old but also in a hostel with people on different wavelength.

What better way for me to feel normal than heading to Gustu - a restaurant run by the management that own Noma (was best restaurant in the world!). Went for the 7 course taster menu with accompanying wines...everything is locally obtained except the cutlery and Riedel glasses! Nice way to spend $80...so much so that went again with some other friends! It was pay day after all!

As usual with big cities i do the free walking tour where you pay in tips...great way to familiarise yourself with a city...to be fair after 2 hr walking tour felt as though covered La Paz...not much else here to do.

You may of seen the Top Gear episode where they had the 4x4 in South America and i essentially am following their trip in reverse. One part of their journey involves the Death Road...named most dangerous road in the world! So i decided to mountain bike down it! Decent from 4400m to 1000m over 64km of tar but mainly gravel...if you like adrenaline sports this is one to do...they ask you for your insurance company when signing up! You get what you pay for so i went with the longest and most expensive operator which meant to bikes and superb guide. As you can tell by reading this i made it to the bottom in one piece and didn't help justify its name! The views and scenery are spectacular although we were a little unlucky with the weather.

Finally in La Paz went slightly out of town to some pre-Inca ruins at Tiwanaku with my pals Ellen and Nikita. Try Brits in shorts and T-Shirt we were under prepared for the cold and rain. These sites are interesting but a lot of imagination is required to see what it looked like years ago!!

Yesterday the La Paz marathon was on which started at 3500m upto 4000m and back again...now I need to do a SA marathon to help complete my 7 marathons on 7 continents but this is a step too far!! I helped cheer them on but considering I struggle up stairs here I think a marathon would kill me!!